Leaving me standing outside the Inn the whole night was probably all part of his sadistic plan to make me feel even more dejected. I mean, was that completely necessary? I had no choice though. At least at one point during the night, I saw a very old, and probably very blind dog, have passionate and thrilling sex with the corner of the building opposite. I could not even work out how he managed it, but it looked like something you just have to put on your bucket list.
About an hour after a quite washed out sunrise, my master and the other nice people I met last night came out of the inn. With a curt gesture, my master not explaining anything to me, we set out from town on the main road. They were an upbeat group. Full of vigor and laughter, probably excited about the adventure ahead. I had no idea where we were going or what the purpose of our journey was, but I decided to make the best of it and try and get at least a modicum of satisfaction from my miserable unlife.
While on the road, some of the group even tried to talk to me, but the best I could do was a non-committal grunt, which in my view, did not violate any of the prescripts set by my master. We reached a point in the road where we could see a small, palisaded fort in the distance. The group, having had a quick discussion about the matter decided to send an envoy out to the fort. My master bade me wait and headed out to the fort accompanied by the half-ling Gindalf. “Probably going to sell him to some slavers, or have him cooked” I thought. Poor little one. Hopefully he managed to escape whatever nefarious plan my master had in mind for him.
From the distance i could see my master striking up a conversation with some of the armoured men in front of the entrance gate of the fort. I could not make out what they were saying, but to my absolute delight, a couple of the nice people grabbed the Bastard and frog marched him into the fort. “Brilliant!” I thought. Now back to rest. I don’t know exactly what happened inside the fort, but Gindalf told the group some it at camp later that day and it seemed that my master had a run in with one of the guard commanders. From Gindalf’s description, it was an extremely stupid thing to do, but that is one thing my master cannot be blamed for, having anything approaching a spark of intelligence. Apparently he made eyes at one of the guards, followed by grabbing his behind and blowing a kiss to the commander. Needless to say, Gindalf did some quick talking and managed to stop the guard commander from removing my masters head.
Back to the story though. A short time later my master came strolling out of the fort, walking like a beaten dog, tail between the legs. Gindalf was berating my master all the way back to the group, with gestures and loud words emphasizing how stupid a thing he thought my master did. If I had a heart, and lips, I would be laughing my backside off, if I had one of those of course.
After a short discussion by the group, and due to my master doing what he does best, the group, having decided to call themselves “The Firm”, moved on to a much less pleasant path, going through a dank and dark tunnel in some hills nearby. It took us a while to reach the foothills and an even longer while to find the cavern entrance that little Erin described. The cave did not look completely wholesome, and an evil smell wafted from the opening, as if something large and feral had made the cave its lair. Entering the cave, we set out to discover the route through to our eventual destination, wherever that may be.
It was exciting to say the least!
As soon as the light from the cave entrance faded, we were set upon by some unsavory types. You know the type, unwashed, unshaven, and completely bedecked with sharp and rusty implements of war. It was a quick and messy fight, with the members of The Firm, having to find their feet in fighting as a group. Some blows were accidentally landed on Firm members, a couple of spells came close to singing the hair off of a couple of the more melee types of The Firm, including me. We were set upon a couple of times more while traversing the cavern, The Firm settling down to a rhythm of fighting which suited all of their individual fighting styles. Communication improved as well, making the friendly fire aspect of their fighting style less of a health risk.
I was even starting to enjoy myself for a bit. It was great! The best part of that cavern was that during one of the skirmishes, I made my first real friend since i was returned to the Realm. My master called him Robert, and after a brief but very meaningful conversation between Robert and me, I gave him all the info he needed to start life as a slave to the Bastard. Robert immediately agreed that we would have to do something about our master, get rid of him in some way, we would just have to wait for the right moment. We decided right there in the cave, that we would start hatching our plan that evening as The Firm settled down for the night.
I also got given a golden pot to carry around. It is a marvellous pot. It has writing on it and everything. What I would later realise as my new goal in unlife, I started my collection of Orcus artefacts. Just the mask for now, but later additions would bring the set to a whole, and hopefully give me the power to destroy my master. I could feel in my bones that these items have a purpose, something larger than any of us, and I was determined to find said purpose.
Unfortunately, and not at all surprisingly, my master thought it a swell idea to get rid of Robert. Following true sadistic psycho tendencies, he defaced and desecrated poor Robert and sent him to an almost certain death. He had scratched the symbol of his god, Velashroon, into the chest, face and palms of poor Robert and sent him on a never ending quest to preach to the masses of Velashroon’s greatness. Robert and I shared a long understanding look before he left, one impression clear. The Bastard will pay for this one day. He even takes the little solace I find in companionship away from me. He leaves me nothing but a growing hunger for revenge.
“An eventful first day as an adventurer” I thought, filled with happiness, sadness and excitement, but all in all a good start to my unlife. The Firm made camp and once again, forgotten and alone, my master left me standing in a thorn bush. Not that it hurt me physically, but emotionally, I can’t even think about it, it hurts too much.